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Writer's pictureCasey McKinnis

To Judge or Not To? That's Not Up To Me

Someone asked me a few weeks ago if I had ever seen a movie called “The Shack”. I happen to think this person is incredible and I jumped at the chance to watch it. I just knew that there must be something I needed to learn if this person recommended it.


Spoiler Alert!!!


If you have not seen this movie and intend to watch it at some point, it might be helpful to stop right now and do that. It might be helpful to watch it even if you had never planned on it.


I watched the trailer ahead of time, so I thought I knew what to expect. Which you can find here.


I 100% did not expect to feel the emotions that came up for me and to feel them so strongly. I can look back now and understand the depth and intensity of what I was feeling and why.


There were parts of this movie that were painful to sit with.


There were parts of this movie that were healing to sit with.


Overall, the messages of this movie were so powerful that I believe I would walk away with the same feelings every single time I watch it and I plan to watch this again.


After I watched the movie, the same person asked me what I thought, and I froze. I stumbled around the pieces scattered in my mind and heart that I was still trying to put together. All I could seem to come up with was, “It was really good. It was amazing”. I felt myself then pull away emotionally and was left feeling confused by the way I was reacting to such a simple question.


I guess it was not really all that simple of a question though, was it?


Not for something like this.


Also, I have spent years sorting through my beliefs when it comes to God and religion in an internal corner that I have kept safe (try to say that 3 times fast). I have opened that door with a few people and have had some incredibly growth promoting conversations around these topics.

But I had not opened the door for just anyone to see just yet. I think in some ways when I was asked what I had thought, it almost felt like someone was knocking down my spiritual door, with its’ many locks and chains, with something that looks like a log.


Someone was knocking it down and I was not fully ready to let them in yet.


At least, I did not think I was.


I have yet to have the opportunity to have that conversation with that individual again, so, if you are reading this, here is what I honestly think.


Today I want to focus on the part of the movie that was heavy on the Judgement lesson.

You see, there is a scene where the main character who has been wrestling with Judgement for various reasons, is faced with some eye-opening decisions that he is being told he needs to make. I think we have all wrestled with being the Judge and the Jury at different points in our lives. I know recently I had been too, and I needed to hear this message more than I realized.


When the man first sees his father as a boy begging for his father to stop abusing him, I lost it. I mean I ugly cried hard core! I can remember going through a difficult period with my mom who over time, with a lot of training, and a lot of self-development, I came to see her as a little girl. I saw her not as a mom who “should have known better”, but as just another human being. A human being who went through her own stuff and came out on the other side doing the best with what she knew. This scene in the movie reminded me of that heaviness in my chest that I felt when I appointed myself to be her Judge and Jury. I also remember what it felt like the day I saw her as another human being and feeling the heaviness just release.


It is no wonder I felt that way. I was sick to my stomach trying to “make a decision” when it was never mine to make. God is the ONLY Judge, and He will make that decision for every single one of us.


To further drive the point home, the man is then asked to decide between his two surviving children; which one goes to heaven and which one goes to hell. Each have sinned, each seem to be struggling with their own issues and he is told it is up to him to decide.


How in the world is a parent supposed to make that kind of decision?


That is the point exactly…


I am all about trying to place yourself in another person’s experience as much as possible to better understand them. Boy howdy!! I do not know about you but that is not a job that I want.


I do not want God’s job…


I needed this reminder at the time it was placed on my heart and I am so thankful for that.


I have had plenty of conversations with people about the difference between an opinion and a judgement. I would love to hear what other people think about this by the way. I love hearing about the meaning people attach to certain words or phrases and how they developed it. So please do share!!


For me, I felt like I got some clarity on how to explain the difference because I can see and feel it. Again, this is what it means for me.


An opinion is stating something you believe or feel, like, my favorite flavor of ice cream is chocolate. You may respond by telling me that yours is vanilla. We both have just shared an opinion.


A judgement would be me believing that you deserved to trip and break your ankle because… How could you not pick chocolate as your favorite? Is there something wrong with you?


Okay, that might be a simple explanation, but apply this way of thinking to any situation and perhaps it will help you discern whether you are sharing your Opinions or casting Judgement.

I now can be more mindful of this myself and do better. I am human like you and I know I will find myself casting my Judgement line out into the rocky seas occasionally.


I am hopeful that by being more mindful of the thoughts and feelings I am having, that I will judge less and love more.


So, what is it for you? Where in your life might you benefit from letting go of holding onto the responsibility of deciding what you think should or should not happen to another person? Imagine what life might feel like with extra space to feel more of the beauty that surrounds you.

I invite you to watch the movie and/or listen to the track I have provided from the soundtrack.


Find a space you can sit with no distractions, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, allow yourself to experience whatever feelings come up for you, and silently whisper “release” with each feeling you desire to release yourself from. With your eyes still closed, watch the feeling float away and simply repeat until the song is over.


Next up, we will be talking about forgiveness. Please share what your experience with this was like if you feel comfortable doing so. If you enjoyed reading this post, invite anyone who you think would enjoy joining these conversations with us.



Until next time… Remember that the Joy is in the Journey!

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