I’ve learned to take a minute and allow what I hear to settle in before I move on, even when I go from one task to the next or chase down every mom call I have received in the last five minutes. I briefly heard Mel Robbins say that social media isn’t here for our family and friends. Social media is here for self-expression. And that’s it! That is all I heard her say. I know she said a lot more than that. My brain focused on this small piece for the tiny second it had to get me to pay attention to something I needed to hear, understand, and internalize.
I had been working on a challenge for myself for a couple of weeks leading up to hearing her say that, involving creating social media content. I was having a lot of fun with this, but there were moments when I could feel myself shrinking. It felt like someone had put a bag around me and started sucking all the air out of it. This happens when a specific person comes to mind, and then I wonder how they would receive the current project I am working on. The thought of them not liking what I created would cause me to feel all those emotions that once took me down to be felt again. Hearing her say this felt validating because of what I had been working on for me and the conversations I had about being seen with clients.
I often talk to clients about social media, especially if they are entrepreneurs who are expanding and using social media to do that. A pattern that I have observed is the way people talk about being seen. There are ways that we want to be seen and, at the same time, are deathly afraid of it. Sometimes, we feel like we are in the spotlight and still feel invisible. What stands out above anything I have heard is how a person, while trying to grow into themselves, will talk about how they are afraid to be seen yet feel like the people closest to them already know who they are. So, why are these people the ones we are most nervous about seeing our social media?
What are we missing? It’s the acknowledgment that we are afraid of.
It’s opening the door to conversations that may not always be pleasant. Will they support you even if your family and friends know you are passionate about music and want to quit the corporate world to chase your dream? Will they understand? Will they accept you? Acknowledgment means we are talking about it; if we are talking about it, it means we are swimming vulnerability. I wouldn't want to jump in if I didn’t know how to swim and had no flotation devices. If we continue without discussion, we don’t have to be vulnerable, but we do get to continue being miserable, sitting on the side watching everyone else swim and master their strokes.
It means being okay starting small. This one is hard because most people already feel small and don’t want to be seen this way.
It means taking a test drive in our confidence. Are we confident enough to stand in the identities we are creating or fully own the ones we have had all along?
What happens if we are not?
That question causes so many of us to pull back on the reigns. But what would happen if we were? What would you say if I told you that you generate confidence? It isn’t something we have or don’t have. It is something we create. From the way you wake up to the way you go to sleep. The thoughts that you allow yourself to believe. The people you surround yourself with. The knowledge that you seek. The ways you push yourself in every area of your life generate confidence. If you aren’t feeling confident, ask yourself what you are doing daily to help build this within yourself.
Between being seen is that feeling we get when the burning sensation spreads through our bodies slowly. Vulnerability is the place to go to feel the burn, and it’s also the place to go to soothe it.
Imagine you have walked into a diner, and there’s a table reserved for you and one other guest. The table has a sign that reads “Acknowledgement” on it. A warm cup of vulnerability is already on the table for both of you. Who is there to greet you? What might you talk about? Visualizations such as this are a great way to help you feel the burn of vulnerability and get comfortable with being uncomfortable. If you are ready to be seen, get prepared to be acknowledged.
You never know what is on the other side of the conversation or post you have been holding off on. Like Thomas Rhett says, Life Changes. It won't change if you don't make that move!
Comments